Christmas is that special time of year when family and friends gather together to celebrate joy, love and good will. It's also that time of year where parents stress themselves out to the max in an attempt to make Christmas perfect for their kiddos. Putting up a tree with lights and ornaments, decorating the house, baking cookies for Santa, and let's not forget trying to please our kids by buying them the sought after gifts they've been asking for all year. Really though what is the point in it all?
Yes, to them it's magical and it brings them some joy, but what do you think they're going to remember the most? What do you think is going to give them the most joy? Every year parents spend hundreds and thousands of dollars to load the under side of their tree with gifts, and in most households it seems, an overload of gifts. Sometimes I feel parents measure their worth on how much they buy their kids, or in some cases maybe even are compensating for other areas they feel they lack in. Or maybe in some cases parents just enjoy spoiling them with any and every thing they want. Regardless, I know not one parent that doesn't get slightly stressed over finances around Christmas time.
The thing is though our kids will love us regardless of how much they get or the price tags on those items. They'll love us even if we don't spend hours baking over a hot oven to make cookies for santa. They'll love us even if we don't put up a huge tree and a million lights. It's not all the holiday mumbo jumbo they look forward to every year. It's us, it's our time, our affection, even if it's just hanging on the couch watching tv, they'll be happy as hell. So again why do we do this to ourselves? We cause ourselves so much unnecessary stress by trying to do umpteen holiday traditions, by worrying ourselves sick of presents and the financing of those presents. We cause unnecessary stress over stuff that in the long run our kids could really give two shits about. Do you really think your 5 year old cares if Santa has cookies? Probably not, they just want to hang out with you and helping you bake those cookies gives them that chance.
A few years back I said to hell with spending ridiculous amounts of money and tons of toys that within weeks would end up lost, broken, or just not interesting anymore. I also realized the stress of trying to uphold of the holiday traditions and the presents and everything else was making it miserable for me on a deep level. The stress was causing negativity and dislike for the holiday season, the only tiny bit of joy I got was from my kids joy. But, I wasn't joyful about it myself, and that was an issue, because my happiness within myself was and still is super important. So I decided that's it, no more. I used to be the all out mom, the tradition of movie nights, baking, presents out the yin yang, massive decorating. Yes, I used to be her, but the discontent, the stress, everything that felt so forced instead of natural; I just didn't want anything that wasn't natural anymore.
I simplified Christmas, decorating kept to a minimal, even the tree. Honestly at this point I don't think my boys would even care if we had a tree, lol. I told myself from now on you spend no more then $200 per child, they get 4 little things and their 1 bigger ticket item. You'll never guess what, the next Christmas was soooo much more enjoyable. I spent 10 minutes cleaning up wrapping paper and garbage compared to the 30 plus minutes the year before! Less toys meant less bouncing from toy to toy by the kids and more time to hang out together, laugh, and play with what they got as a unit! The amount of gratitude and appreciation increased emmensely with less stuff under the tree. Christmas became what it was intended to be about, not some hectic crazy time of year that drove me to the brink of insanity (or a wine coma lol). I also stopped taking pictures of our tree after Santa came, because what the f*** did I have to prove to anyone or show off to anyone for. We were all happy and content, and saying screw the beloved tradition of an after Santa picture dropped more stress from my shoulders. The matching jammies and all of that went out the window year after year over the last few years and with everything I took off the list the more I appreciated the REAL reason for the season, the more I felt joy and happiness and the happier my kids became! Remember parents, our kids feel our emotions even if you don't think so, take care of yourself, make sure you're happy, they can sense it! This year I even said f*** filling the stockings and oh my god, how freeing that was!
We get so caught up in the holidays and everything that comes with we forget to take a breath, we forget about our own personal happiness and joy that only were responsible for! Meditation teacher Sah D'Simone says the holidays are a great time to practice love, patience and boundaries. He says to "Take a few moments to notice the quality of your feelings and thoughts when you're around your family." Do this, and do it when you're not around anyone, come to terms with whatever it is you're feeling and set an intention for positivity across the spectrum, on every aspect.
Guys, I'm telling you, take a look around right now. Think about what really matters to you, to your kids, to your other half. You don't have to be super man or super woman, you don't have to do it all, you don't have to spend huge amounts of money or hours doing crap you don't like to do or don't really want to do. It is OKAY, I promise. Some might call me weird, others might call me cynical but I take mental health and internal peace so very seriously. So take note right now of all the good and bad, take note of what caused you stress or disharmony and vow to simplify. I promise, you won't regret it.
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